{"id":13520,"date":"2025-05-21T14:41:54","date_gmt":"2025-05-21T18:41:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/kirabug.com\/wordpress\/?p=13520"},"modified":"2025-05-21T14:41:54","modified_gmt":"2025-05-21T18:41:54","slug":"warmups-messing-with-humanitys-women","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kirabug.com\/wordpress\/2025\/05\/warmups-messing-with-humanitys-women\/","title":{"rendered":"Warmups: messing with humanity’s women"},"content":{"rendered":"

On May 20, 2025, writing-prompt-s<\/a> posted:<\/p>\n

A mischievous alien species decides to remotely mess with humanity. Without warning, all females on Earth gain the ability to hear the thoughts and access the memories of nearby males. The aliens give it one hour before deciding whether to make it permanent.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

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\u201cGet down here now!!\u201d One of the human women had figured out how to message the ship.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Curious, the aliens landed in Central Park. In minutes their ship was surrounded by women of all ages, shapes, sizes, and descriptions.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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The woman closest to the ship, who was clearly waiting for them, wore a shirt with a patch on it that said \u201cLucy\u201d. She was in heavy work pants, boots, and carrying a baseball bat.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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The aliens talked amongst themselves and decided maybe they\u2019ll stay in the ship.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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\u201cYeah I thought you would,\u201d Lucy muttered loud enough for their microphones to pick up. \u201cShut the thought converter off right now or you\u2019ll never make it back into the sky alive.\u201d The crowd of women roared in agreement, a sound that shook the earth below them for miles around.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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\u201cWhy would we do that?\u201d One of the aliens asked through the comms system. They sounded both smug about the trouble they\u2019d caused and curious.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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\u201cBecause we already know what the boys think. And we already know most of their memories. We don\u2019t need that information to survive or thrive here.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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\u201cBecause we\u2019re a culture that believed in privacy, nd you\u2019re breaching the privacy of all the men on earth.\u201danother woman added.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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\u201cAND YOUR DEVICE CAUSES MIGRAINES IN 51% OF THE POPULATION YOU JACKASSES.\u201d a woman who until that moment had been clutching her temples in obvious pain. Women all around shook their heads in agreement.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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\u201cAnd you\u2019re not smart enough use it without supervision.\u201d Lucy finished. \u201cWe\u2019ve got to confiscate it before you get yourselves hurt.\u201d The women behind Lucy cheered.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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\u201cHey! What makes you think we\u2019re not smart enough to use it?\u201d another of the aliens objected.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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\u201cEXHIBIT A: YOU HAVEN\u2019T FIGURED OUT WE\u2019RE READING YOUR MINDS\u2026\u201d Lucy shouted in obvious frustration.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

On May 20, 2025, writing-prompt-s posted: A mischievous alien species decides to remotely mess with humanity. Without warning, all females on Earth gain the ability to hear the thoughts and access the memories of nearby males. The aliens give it one hour before deciding whether to make it permanent. \u201cGet down here now!!\u201d One of … <\/p>\n

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