Day 245:<\/p>\n
Oh hey, I haven’t mentioned the goo monster yet!<\/p>\n
OK, here’s want I want you to picture: hospital gelatin. \u00a0Lime flavored. But for some reason because it’s the medical center the lighting is off so it doesn’t look like an appealing green. It looks like the green of the hallway walls, or the green of a dying plant.<\/p>\n
If you’ve gotten to baby-poop green, back up, it’s not that brownish.<\/p>\n
Now make it perfectly cubical. And two meters tall. And give it giant eyes and a \u00a0big squishy maw that makes you wonder how it chews.<\/p>\n
You know when it’s around because there’s this sickening “splort” sound when it hops. It would remind you of an undead axe murderer crossing a swamp at midnight in an ancient movie reel. The noise that makes the stupid teens go investigate and the audience go drop another dollar for a barf bag because carnage is about to ensue.<\/p>\n
The only way this thing is a result of terraforming is if someone dropped their lunch into the payload before it was launched.<\/p>\n
Slice a hunk off, and after a short pause, that hunk becomes another just like its bigger parent.<\/p>\n
So far the only way I’ve found to defeat it is to beat it with a sword until it’s small enough I can squash it with my boots.<\/p>\n
Thank heavens it doesn’t appear to be caustic or I would be out of boots.<\/p>\n
One upside to being attacked by a giant cafeteria dessert is that the green goo it leaves behind seems amazingly springy. It bounces, is what I’m saying.<\/p>\n
There’s got to be a use for it, other than ruining my day. I just have to find it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Day 245: Oh hey, I haven’t mentioned the goo monster yet! OK, here’s want I want you to picture: hospital gelatin. \u00a0Lime flavored. But for some reason because it’s the medical center the lighting is off so it doesn’t look like an appealing green. It looks like the green of the hallway walls, or the … <\/p>\n