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Warmups: messing with humanity’s women

Fiction

On May 20, 2025, writing-prompt-s posted:

A mischievous alien species decides to remotely mess with humanity. Without warning, all females on Earth gain the ability to hear the thoughts and access the memories of nearby males. The aliens give it one hour before deciding whether to make it permanent.

“Get down here now!!” One of the human women had figured out how to message the ship.

Curious, the aliens landed in Central Park. In minutes their ship was surrounded by women of all ages, shapes, sizes, and descriptions.

The woman closest to the ship, who was clearly waiting for them, wore a shirt with a patch on it that said “Lucy”. She was in heavy work pants, boots, and carrying a baseball bat.

The aliens talked amongst themselves and decided maybe they’ll stay in the ship.

“Yeah I thought you would,” Lucy muttered loud enough for their microphones to pick up. “Shut the thought converter off right now or you’ll never make it back into the sky alive.” The crowd of women roared in agreement, a sound that shook the earth below them for miles around.

“Why would we do that?” One of the aliens asked through the comms system. They sounded both smug about the trouble they’d caused and curious.

“Because we already know what the boys think. And we already know most of their memories. We don’t need that information to survive or thrive here.”

“Because we’re a culture that believed in privacy, nd you’re breaching the privacy of all the men on earth.”another woman added.

“AND YOUR DEVICE CAUSES MIGRAINES IN 51% OF THE POPULATION YOU JACKASSES.” a woman who until that moment had been clutching her temples in obvious pain. Women all around shook their heads in agreement.

“And you’re not smart enough use it without supervision.” Lucy finished. “We’ve got to confiscate it before you get yourselves hurt.” The women behind Lucy cheered.

“Hey! What makes you think we’re not smart enough to use it?” another of the aliens objected.

“EXHIBIT A: YOU HAVEN’T FIGURED OUT WE’RE READING YOUR MINDS…” Lucy shouted in obvious frustration.

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Warmups: the Time Machine

Fiction

From promptsforthestrugglingauthor on tumblr:

Writing Prompt #3059

“It’s your fault he’s gone.”

“I know.”

“We agreed we weren’t going to send Timmy into the Time Machine!”

“I know.”

“We agreed it was too dangerous!”

“I know.”

“And yet you did it anyway!”

“Well technically he stepped onto the dias willingly.”

“But he wouldn’t have if you hadn’t lied to him!”

“I didn’t lie to him! I told him it would send him to the supermarket and we did!”

“Wait, you what?” He fiddled with the screen. “I thought we were sending him 15 million years back in time.”

“No! No no no. We’re out of orange juice. The store closed at 9pm. I sent him back to get OJ and donuts for tomorrow morning. We sent him 15 minutes back in time. M-I-N not M-I-L.”

Timmy banged the door open while his brothers continued to argue. “I got OJ, donuts, and those mini muffins you both like. What’s up?”

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Save your fingers from your cooler and other ways to save the world

Militant Decency

Today’s the first day I’ve had in a bit to come yell on the internet about how we can do better. Please join me.

Igloo cooler recall

First, a point of safety: if you have an Igloo cooler, please check the following recall lists:

Note these recalls are for both US and Canada. The coolers in question have amputated the tips of many people’s fingers.  Please do not fuck around with the cooler problem especially if you have kids.

Speaking of recalls…

If you’re in the US, please subscribe to the Consumer Product Safety Commission website. And because we can’t be sure that the CPSC is going to stay funded or that the rules on what counts as recallable stay in tact due to the current administration gutting the life out of everything, please also subscribe to the Canadian Recalls and Safety list.

While you’re at it, use 5calls.org to defend CDC funding and programs and  protect worker safety by reversing NIOSH cuts, and if you still have energy after that, read about the EPA and their budget cuts on the Union of Concerned Scientists website.

Public transit

If you live in the Philadelphia area, you probably use SEPTA transit at least on occasion. SEPTA is experiencing a massive funding crisis due to not receiving enough money from the state government. It’s time to speak up for transit and demand that we receive the funding SEPTA needs to not only keep current services but expand the network further into the suburbs so we can cut the congestion on 422, 202, and the other state highways.

Please contact your state legislators and tell them to fully fund SEPTA.

If you don’t live in the Delaware Valley, you should probably check in with your local transit authority to find out whether they’re getting enough funding and what they’re going to do to improve transit. Throw the 20 Benefits of Using Public Transportation for Community and Wellness at them and tell them we can’t afford not to implement public transit.

Taking a break

I had the not-at-all-enjoyable experience of receiving something like 17 messages back from my senators in one bulk mailing recently. Fortunately (?) I was busy helping a friend with a health issue and didn’t have time to get ramped up about it then.

This week I tried — I really tried — to read their responses and understand their positions. One of my senators sent me 12 form letters with the same content. The other sent me 5 videos of him essentially telling me that my positions were wrong.

That’s really hard to hear. I watched two of the videos, and responded in email pointing out the inaccuracies, but when I got into the third video, I almost broke into tears.

So I stopped.

And this is me telling you that you can stop any time as well.

If you’re someone who’s not involved in politics or discussing these things, hey, that’s ok. I invite you to get involved so that you can say that the government represents you (or at least that you tried to sway the government to represent you). But if it’s overwhelming for you, that’s ok too.

If you’re someone who is involved in the day to day situation, I encourage you to use your weekends to take a break. Ignore it. Or at least, only take small bites. Regardless of your position on the current government and regardless of what country you’re in, there’s such a deluge every day of news we don’t actually want but probably should be aware of that it’s necessary to step away.

Me, I’m going to go move the laundry.

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Stuff to do to make the world better

Militant Decency

Hi!

  1. There was a M7.7 earthquake in Myanmar on March 28th, which has killed at least 1700 people and injured many more. If you have the opportunity, donate to the International Rescue Committee to get urgently needed water, food, and medical supplies to those affected.
  2. Use 5calls to support the Institute of Library and Museum Services and its funding.
  3. Use the good soap in the bathrooms this month. Or the good shampoo. Or the good perfume or makeup or whatever. Savor the good things you have, because they don’t belong on a shelf.