A love letter to my favorite branch of the government.

Editor’s note: I tried to send this email to NOAA directly when I heard that their email address had leaked and was getting hate mail (NSFW content) Unfortunately, by the time I got done setting up a separate email address to send my message from (because I didn’t really want 13,000 bounce responses if it failed spectacularly going to my main email) they had patched the mail server to not accept email from people like me. Took ’em long enough.

If you know someone at NOAA, please pass this along to them.


I hope this email finds you.

I check your weather site every day. The forecast discussions in the Mt. Airy office help me both understand how weather works and help me understand why all of your jobs are so very difficult.

You do really hard jobs, and you do them very well and I want to say thank you.

Your predecessors kept my dad safe when he was in the Coast Guard in the 1960s, a lightship sailor in the North Seas. Your weather forecasts keep all of our service members safe every day. They keep all of us safe every day. I get a little arrogant when my friends are quoting crazy snow totals at me and I pull up the forecast discussion and go “well yeah but here are the models the feds are looking at and here’s what’s not evening out yet, so they’re calling for less and here’s why” and they’re more consistently correct than anything any other app puts out. Also, the communications that I found on your Facebook channel which shows what the chances are for different snow amounts made some of my family go “wow!”.  Thank you.

You research and react to climate research changes, which helps every one of us figure out what to plant and where, from the apartment balcony garden to full-sized farms both here in the US and all over the world. Your educational resources are fantastic and your climate stripes have inspired a lot of knitters I know, even if it does mean they get really mad at how much red yarn they end up using. Your planning and commitment to the real science of the climate keeps us both safe and fed. Thank you.

The work you do around the oceans and coasts mean that cities like Virginia Beach are prepared for storms and the surges they bring. My trips there every summer to relax allow me to recharge and do better at all the work — family and paid — that I do throughout the year. Without your hard work the hotels and tourism industries couldn’t do what they do, and I couldn’t get a chance to watch the dolphins chasing the paddlers at sunrise. Thank you.

We all laughed when the Evergreen got stuck in the Suez Canal, because we definitely needed a laugh when that happened. But if it weren’t for the hard work you do in charting and maps, not only would we have boats stuck all the time, the Coast Guard would be working who knows how much longer to save ships sunk by unknown underwater rocks. You keep us safe. Thank you.

Every time we have a hurricane and we watch the intense graphics and rapid updates, it’s because your scientists are in airplanes flying through those hurricanes. That’s hard dangerous work, and it takes a huge team of scientists and others to produce that data, keep the ones in the planes safe, and communicate the findings out to the rest of the world. Thank you. And thank you to the amazing folks who are putting satellites in space and then telling us the story of our Earth, with pictures of storms and methane emissions and all kinds of other facts we would have no access to without the satellites.

A few years ago someone told me that the overfishing of the oceans and waterways was so bad that the only things really flourishing were jellyfish, so I’d better figure out how I like my jellyfish cooked. (I’m guessing as jellyfish chips since once the water’s out of one there’s not much left.) But the folks working in the Fisheries division are helping to make sure that we don’t get to that point. I like having well-stocked waterways both because hey, fish are tasty, and because the natural ecosystem of the ocean requires, you know, the ecosystem to be alive. I watched an awesome video on SciShow the other day about reducing bycatch and I’m 100% sure that even if your studies weren’t the ones being performed, “reducing bycatch” is something that we wouldn’t be able to research without the baseline of knowledge that you provide. Thank you. And thank you to everyone working with and around the marine sanctuaries to ensure that we have places that are as protected as possible from all the chaos humans inevitably create.

I don’t even know how to begin to talk about your communications teams. The websites, the alerts, the education libraries, the videos, the photos, they’re all amazing. I love you all for every thing that you produce, even when I don’t know it’s coming from you.

You all — every one of you — work really hard jobs that pay dividends in science, health, education, infrastructure, and so many other ways.

You keep us safe. Thank you.

thank you,
anne gibson

Houdini

Backglass for Houdini pinball machine as described in the post

Houdini, American Pinball, 2016.

The Houdini pinball machine is themed around the idea of Houdini’s shows. In alignment with that theme, the word Houdini takes up the top third of the backglass, with the words “Master of Mystery” below it. Houdini looks like it’s forged out of iron or steel, with many small rivets around the edges of the letters. Both the title and subtitle float over a red stage curtain.

Houdini himself, from the bust up, faces the camera inside the curtained area. He’s played up to be creepy, with light emphasizing his eyes and his hands, which he holds up, fingers curled, like he was about to snatch you out of your seat. He is surrounded by chains and the occasional very large clockwork cog, because what’s creepier than steampunk?

Below the stage we see the audience in their seats, facing away from us.

The left edge also contains a big black bank safe wrapped in chains and emitting an eerie yellow glow, an elephant emitting an eerie orange glow, and a woman upside-down in a tank of water that resembles a telephone booth, with the tank emitting an eerie pink glow.

The right edge starts with Houdini swallowing a string of needles  and emitting an eerie green glow, then a very large milk can wrapped in chains and emitting an eerie blue glow, then a wooden trunk emitting an eerie purple glow. Chains, pinballs, and an ouija planchette.

There are a few other tiny details such as a robot staring through the gaps between the D and the I in Houdini that give the whole thing a very consistent vibe.

Black Knight 2000

Backglass for the black knight 2000 pinball machine as described in the post

Black Knight 2000, Williams, 1989.

Yes it’s named “2000” even though it was made in the late ’90s. That’s what the ’90s were like, folks. Everyone just waiting around for the next big round number to come up and see if we all make it to the other side.

Anyway… this is the sequel to Black Knight, only “modern”.  The art looks like a fancy crest of sorts, with the Black Knight riding a black horse through a big circle in the center of the screen.

The horse is wearing chair armor on its neck and your typical renaissance faire blanket like drape in bright red with fancy blue triangles on it. The horse for some reason has a blonde main and tail, which, I mean, those are some interesting genetics right there.

The Black Knight is, of course, wearing black armor, but it’s highlighted in pink and blue at the edges — as is the armor on the horse. The knight is also wearing a red sash and a big bulky gold necklace of some sort. Oh and of course a red cape. The knight is wielding a lighting bolt, which is no easy trick when one is wearing metal armor.

The circle the knight and horse are jumping through is lined with lightning bolds around its rim, and oh hey coincidentally that same circle and ring of lightning bolts is on the playfield (not shown) where it does fancy things during the game.

To the left is a set of towers that look like they are actually chromed-up truck pistons that have been stretched a bit. To the right is a castle that resembles an angry robot only with sharp spikes around all the edges of the parapets.

Everything else is a mixture of red shapes with chrome borders. Because the future is about shiny spiky things, the color red, and chrome.

Transporter: The Rescue

The backglass to Transporter: The Rescue as described in the rest of the post

Transporter: The Rescue, Bally, 1989.

If you were thinking Jason Statham, no. Very no.

This is another pin based on a science fiction theme, but what exactly that theme is I’m not sure. From left to right, we have:

  • A woman in a space suit trapped in a reddish-yellow cone (possibly a pyramid). There’s a tentacle from a monster wrapped around the cone possessively.
  • A  monster. Quinti-laterally symmetrical? Five eyes, five mouths, a big scary opening at the top of its head that could be some other kind of mouth, tentacles, some kind of crab claws or maybe the end of one of the tentacles menacing the camera. The monster is the same orange-red as the cone with the woman in it.
  • A man in a space suit coming in from offstage right, carrying a gun. The patch on his shoulder says UN Orion and has a bunch of patches on it indicating lots of service.  The gun looks suspiciously like a Colt revolver, which, my dude, won’t fire if there’s no oxygen and you are wearing a space suit.
  • The presumed-backpack the man is wearing has the Jackpot lights built into it.

The background has what is either a green dome or a very large green moon rising on what is otherwise a barren plane. Something ominous is glowing in the leftmost corner.

Yeah, absolutely no Jason Statham.

Genesis

Genesis backglass as described in the post

Genesis, Gottleib, 1986.

One would think looking at this backglass that it was based on a science fiction movie, and it sort-of is, but nothing you’ve probably heard of.  According to the Internet Pinball Database (IPD) entry for Genesis, designer John Gottleib based the concept on a 1927 German film called Metropolis.

Anyway, the backglass is eye-catching in how different it is from most designs of its era. It’s a photo of three people, an old man dressed like a mad scientist, a younger woman with big 80s hair and lots of fishnets, and a younger man possibly with dwarfism dressed in a black leather vest but no shirt.

Behind them one can see a wall of devices, all painted the same matte grey, a weird looking machine to the left and a screen of some sort to the right. Definitely hearkens back to the age of b-movie science fiction, even if the exact plot is known only to the designer.