kirabug's idea files

Day 720:

When I mined for a living instead of just for survival, I wore mech arms. They were work, don’t get me wrong, but their gravity assist and inertia dampeners meant I almost never got any kind of muscle strain.

I do more damage to my arms now just pulling weeds from the pumpkin patch than I did working a full week in a mine.

I can remember getting in trouble with the captain when they found out we were using the mech arms off the clock so that we could play marathon FPS Classic tournaments on our days off without getting wrist strain.

I bet I’ve totally lost all my gaming skills.

On the other hand, this is a mean pumpkin pie I’ve baked for lunch, so not everything is bad.

I wish I could figure out a way to make ice so I could treat this pulled triceps though.

Day 719:

I got caught in a firefight with some skeletons earlier when this exploding giraffe-corgi popped up in the middle of it to blow me to smithereens. I mean it was close, can-smell-it close and let me tell you that’s not a pleasure no matter what you’ve heard about giraffes or dogs.

Anyway, before it could go kablooey the skeleton, which was aiming at me, shot the exploder instead! I was saved!

But that wasn’t the weird part. I mean the skeletons have pretty crappy aim, like bad-guy-in-a-vid aim, so them shooting themselves, each other, the zombies, the spiders, all kind of “normal” for whatever normal is when you’re using these nouns in a sentence as if these things can happen.

The weird part was that after I dispatched the skeletons, and I was picking up loose arrows and the like, I found a record.

Like, a record!

A black waxy disc with some writing on it and very very tiny grooves as if something was carved into it!

I mean, I wouldn’t even recognize it if it weren’t for the box of them my grandfather inherited from his great-grandfather and then sold to pay off the farm.

So I’ve found something more precious than diamonds. How it got into that firefight I have no idea, but I’m locking it up somewhere safe because I’m pretty sure an anthropologist or someone will want to see this thing if anyone ever comes to get me off this rock.

Day 718:

IT DIDN’T RAIN AT ALL TODAY!

My socks are still wet anyway.

I used to try them on the smelting furnace(s) but then they’d catch fire or shrink and I would be sad.

So right now they’re strung on a tree like little holiday decorations from someone extremely confused about stockings.

Anyway no rain meant lots of working outdoors! Climbing trees and thinning them so monsters will stop trying to kill me! Getting blown out of a tree by an exploding giraffe corgi!

Now my back hurts (again) and I’ve got some pretty nasty scratches, splinters, etc. (I wonder if there’s, like, something actually stuck in my back. I should check before bed.)

And also I think the ducken population is getting out of control. I saw a record eight hatch from one clutch of eggs earlier and I’m starting to worry about how sustainable they are.

I mean, if I’m the cause then I should probably be the fix too.

I haven’t gone fishing in ages and let me tell you, I could use something to eat other than poultry. (The pork chops I had from those pigs in the pit were amazing.)

Day 717:

It was finally a beautiful sunny day out! A touch humid, but I woke to the sound of zombies spontaneously combusting on the surface, so I knew it would be nice and sunny! That’s the way you really want to wake up, let me tell you.

I went back out to the area near the sea that I’m terraforming (I’m terraforming the area, not the sea… although I’m not sure it’s a sea so…)

Anyway, went out. Fell into a sinkhole disguised by weeds and vines. Discovered it was full of pigs, a sheep, and more ducken than I could count.

Now I don’t like to think of myself as a person that’s cruel to animals (although in this place I’m pretty sure my morals are getting a bit warped) and I don’t like to put food in storage for too long — not even meat, which seems to keep just fine eternally here thanks to what I’ve pretty much concluded is a total lack of bacterial — but when you’re hip deep in a dozen duckens the safest thing to do is start stabbing things that aren’t you.

Then fill in the hole so you can climb back out.

It was not my finest shining hour as a human, and to prove that, when I finally reached the surface again, the sky opened up as if to say “nope, no sun for you.”

I slunk back home and started skinning duckens. I might not be a good person but at least I’ll have enough leather for more pants.

Day 716: Gah what I would give for some sunlight.

Still raining, so I’m still mining.

Today I found a very deep hole full of zombies. Unfortunately, they had a way out of the hole.

Today I shot a lot of zombies.

Tonight I’m making more arrows. And wishing I had a dog to give all this raw meat to. Or maybe a hyena. Do people keep pet hyenas? Plenty of rotting flesh and bones available if a hyena rescue wants to drop me off some friends.